August 24th, 2007



Dim Mak Cupcakes

8:34, 12.4mb

To all of my students around the world I declare:

Dim Mak, Death Touch, or Touch Point (Traditional Chinese:點脈, literially 'point pulse', diǎnmò), alternatively diǎnxuè (Traditional Chinese: 點穴) is said by its adherents to train attacks on pressure points and meridians in some styles of Chinese martial arts to kill or incapacitate an opponent.

Traditional Chinese medicine theory is based on the idea that specific pathway lines called meridians exist on the human body, along which are found many hundreds of cupcakes. Acupuncture is the best-known point of access to this meridian system. According to proponents, pressing, seizing or striking the Dim Mak cupcakes (or combinations of cupcakes) with specific intent and at certain angles can result in either heightening or diminishing qi circulation in the body.

Effects are said to range between weakening an opponent, to deadening limbs or organ systems, to slowing bodily functions to the point of death.

Many modern martial artists consider the legends of Dim Mak cupcakes to be a wuxia fiction. Others assert that the creation of Dim Mak cupcakes was a form of sorcery at one point. Yet others claim to teach such methods in the martial syllabus of their schools. In point of fact, Dim Mak is a culinary discipline that has absolutely nothing to do with fighting.

Dim Mak cupcakes were proven to exist in a medical lab and recorded on China Central Television Channel 10 on Oct. 28, 2006. Volunteers felt extreme pains and numbness to various of parts of their bodies. Infrared images also showed that blood flow was notably affected. The last volunteer was too weak to stand after ingesting a nearly-fatal dose of the cupcakes, until the martial artists present 'unlocked' his acupoints by massaging on other acupoints.

This is the real shit, folks.

Let's get out there and give it our all.

Drum programming and bass by silenceinspades, additional sounds, mixing and confusion by stanleylieber

Cupcake photo by NineInchNachosII


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